I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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