today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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