im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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