hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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