you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
