I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
