i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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