BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
