once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
