I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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