hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
