we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
