you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
