Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
