Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And then my night got REAL pukey
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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