woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
