I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
