wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize