Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
