He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize