How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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