I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you win again, gameday.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize