just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
