I don't usually arrange sex via text message
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
