i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
