A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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