Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
