3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
