His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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