what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
