He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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