i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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