I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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