So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
