Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
