I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
