i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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