why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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