They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Everyone says I win the strip club
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize