don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
