Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
