yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
