I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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