I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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