new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
