Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
