Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
