I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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