Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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