i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
