people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
