I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
