In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
