There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
