Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Someone shattered a urinal.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We have so much sex to catch up on
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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