then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
