Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize