My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
