so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Randomize