ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
