Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I need a burrito and a hug.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
