So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
