I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
