It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
