How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize