He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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