your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
