My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
