Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
