Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
