Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
