Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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