hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
