I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
