that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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