Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
